Showing posts with label french language. Show all posts
Showing posts with label french language. Show all posts

Thursday, 16 May 2013

And my English is poor....
French Higher Education and Research Minister Geneviève Fioraso has proposed a bill which endorses and permits the teaching of English in certain subjects in French universities, but as was to be expected there has been an outcry against it by politicians from all the major political parties. They claim that it would result in the death of French across the world and the hedgemony of English. But it wouldn't, and here's why in QA form.

'This is a scandalous proposal!' say opponents.

No it isn't, it is nothing new moreover because it does no more than formalise what has been going on in French higher education for years, where almost 800 courses have been given in foreign languages (90% English) for 20 years, despite the Toubon Law which theoretically forbids it apart from a few very rare exceptions. It's a hypocritical ostrich-head-sand situation which needs to change.

Yes, but why have any subjects in anything but French in a French university except a language-related cursus?

Because the real world imposes it. The vast majority of research and development in Europe and the world in the medical and pharmaceutical environment, science and technology, physics, chemistry and mathematics as well as information technology and future technologies such as nanotechnology is in English. Also, you can't do business with the Anglophone world unless you know Anglo-Saxon law systems. You don't like it? Change planets then. Or, of course, only do business with African dictatorships, like you used to in the past. (Oops, a bit below the belt that, sorry.)

Some politicians and philosophers fear that France is "losing its influence" and are worried about "a loss of technical expertise in a certain number of areas" and that this may lead to the disparition of French.

Indeed, and that's precisely why it's time to use English. France should not be doing a King Canute here, it should be waking up and smelling the coffee. There is nothing incompatible whatsoever about 'international France' increasing its expertise - and god knows it needs to - in order to become more competitive in a globalised world and 'homeland France' continuing to insist on the use of French in France. Nor would this law affect 'Francophonie', the curious and imperialist-tinged French custom of proselytising French abroad (whilst resisting English at home!)

'Foreign students who come to France should follow their cursus in French.'

Foreign students bring much-needed revenue to cash-strapped French educational institutions and the vast majority of them already speak English whereas they they do not speak good French. Some of the best students in the world come from countries in which English is systematically taught. They come here to increase their knowledge and increase their chances of employment, and knowing their subject in English is an essential part of that. Besides, surely they will go home praising France if they get an adequate and pertinent education here? French only? If you did that you'd have no foreign students left, simple as that.

'The Académie Française objects.'

So what?

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Sheesshhh, I mean, it's hardly rocket science now is it!

Thursday, 31 January 2013

Musings on teaching English to French adults

And speak it you shall, dammit!!!
A substantial number of native English speakers who come to live in France teach English to French people to earn money at one time or another. Teaching work is easy to find in the private sector, so depending on one's circumstances it can be a tempting option, despite the relatively low pay.

And that's why back in the early 90's I used to teach English full-time to all kinds of company staff, from salespeople to CEO's, although I teach much less these days as I decided in the mid-Nineties that freelance translating would be much more profitable. I was right about the profitability aspect of my work but I still enjoy the few hours of teaching I do each week.

As time went by I became aware of two things.

Firstly, trainees with a relatively low level often came up with the same three reasons to explain why they found it difficult to learn English. In fact these reasons were evoked so often and expressed using such similar vocabulary that it was almost uncanny. It was as if they had all been taught to repeat them in the same mantric manner, by some language god in French heaven.

It soon became obvious that these obstacles had to be addressed in order for progress to be made, and so the second thing I realised was that the only way to overcome them was not just by using 'teaching' methods, but also by using humour and reasoned argument in tandem with a tiny hint of provocation.

The issues were the following.
'Je bloque' - which, in this context, means 'I freeze' or 'I have a mental block', when it comes to speaking English.
'Les Français sont nuls en langues' or 'the French are bad at learning languages'.
'Mon accent est nul' - 'I have a lousy accent.'

So, let's take a look at them, one by one. (Oh, and I'd like to stress that what follows does not pretend to be pedagogically proven or viable, it's just an informal look at my way of doing things, which trainees would often tell me had helped them.)

In comes a low-intermediate level trainee for her first session. Lets call her Nicole. Nicole explains before we begin that she can write and read English much better than she can speak it. 'And why is that do you think?' I ask. 'Je bloque.' And she, like everyone else, says it in French, before going on to say that this is because she is afraid of making mistakes and making herself look ridiculous.

Now I happen to think that the best way to get round this is to dig a little deeper into why she is afraid and deal with it. So I go for the jugular and bluntly say that it's because of the French education system, which is notorious for sanctioning errors quickly and being parcimonious with praise. She probably got told she was 'nul' - 'useless' at school more times than I've downed a beer in my life. So I tell her that this is not school and we're adults who are here to achieve an objective and to be objective in doing so. There's no-one to laugh at her here, and no-one to criticise her either. Mistakes are not only permitted, they are inevitable and welcome because they indicate to me what areas we should be working on. I tell her that there are only two kinds of French people who make no mistakes in English, and they are perfectly bilingual people - and there are no more than a few thousand of them in the whole country - and those who refuse to say a single word. Trainees need to feel at ease whilst using English and learn to be confident that they will eventually - and almost certainly - speak much better English if they use it as much as possible and enjoy doing so. That's how I deal with this issue. It's not only about using books and pedagogical methods in my view, it also has to do with gaining people's confidence and working not within a trainer/trainee context, but as a team who are trying to reach the same objectives together.

Here's Laurent. He's just turned up for his first lesson. He has the same level as Nicole. He says that he finds English grammar to be very difficult, adding that he's not surprised because 'everybody knows' that 'les Français sont nul en langues.' This too I have heard countless times over the years, not just said by trainees, but friends and acquaintances too. There are so many reasons why Laurent is wrong that if those reasons were goals in a football match, the result would be 10-0. I tend to find a little humour mixed in with a hint of gentle provocation to be very useful in this situation.

'Ah', I say, 'I didn't know that the Germans, Dutch, Scandinavians and just about everybody else on the planet is more intelligent than the French.' And Laurent, like most other peple, says that no, the French are just as intelligent, but it's not that, it's because English is badly taught in French schools. Ah, NOW we're getting somewhere. So I explain that I agree, but that this isn't school. Then I explain that English isn't just about grammar and structures, as the education system still believes, it's also - and mainly - about expressing oneself happy in the knowledge that by doing so one will become more confident and using grammar correctly comes naturally if people use the language instead of merely 'studying' it. Besides, I add, the fact that the French way of teaching languages, and that includes French itself, implies a heavy accent on grammar, whereas that's not the case in many other countries. This ironically means that French people's theoretical knowledge of grammar and structures and how they work is more extensive than that of others, so for the French to say that they are naturally bad at languages and grammar doesn't really stand up to scrutiny, because they have an advantage over other learners in these areas.

Laurent's real problem, as was the case for Nicole, isn't the language, but fear of failure. So he needs to relax and have fun using English and I tell him that we will be speaking English in lessons much more than 'studying' it. Work, football, politics, women, food, I don't care what we talk about, but talk we shall, and it's my job to make it fun so he will look forward to his lessons. And he will mechanically improve his level if he uses this approach.

New trainee Danielle has a different problem. She says that her 'accent is awful.' She adds that 'everyone knows' that the French have an atrocious accent when they speak English. Now let me tell you that if I had been given €10 for every time I have heard that I'd be a millionaire! Again, a little goading and humour can do wonders.

'I see' I say, straight-faced and mock-surprised. 'So if you're saying that you must know a lot about the English accent. You must have lived in an English-speaking country for years to know that, or taught English to a lot of French people. I wasn't told that. I was told you had a relatively low level.' Danielle says that she has a low level, that she has never lived abroad, that she has never taught English and that she has hardly ever heard other French people using English. 'Oh', I say, fun-maliciously, 'so you don't in fact know much about English accents then? Fine. But - and luckily for you - I do, so how about if I give you my humble take on that?' And I tell her that I'm English, I have spoken it with thousands of French people, and like most English people, I adore the French accent. Danielle is surprised. And she's even more surprised when I tell her that - and this is at least partially if not entirely true - every time I hear a French woman speaking English I fall instantly in love with her, although I switch that button off when I'm teaching, don't worry. Besides, look at it the other way round. I may be pretty much bilingual but there are still traces of my English accent. Do I do anything to improve that? No, because people often tell me that my accent is 'charmant', and seeing as I appreciate a little flattery now and again just as much as the next person I see no reason why I should bust a gut to have a perfect accent.

This 'bad accent' thing is strange. I have no idea why so many French people say that. Trainees need to work on their accent, of course, but as long as their accent is good enough for them to be understood it's not a big issue. And, yet again, the best way to improve is to speak English as much as possible and listen to as much English as possible. Technical lessons on accent help, sure, but they're not everything, and confidence is, as usual, just as important.

Anyway, those are my ideas about the three most common reasons that I was given by trainees to explain whay they had, or believed they had, difficulties learning English. As I said above, I'm no expert in pure pedagogical subjects but it does seen to me that many of the 'problems' people say they have with learning English aren't really problems at all in a linguistic sense. The sheer number of times that I have heard people say this kind of thing about English, and saying it in an almost identical way, makes me suspect that they may be more akin to popular myths that people have heard so many times that they end up believing them.

So the best way to tackle them is head-on with the help of a little chiding and teasing, analysis and humour, and a LOT of encouragement, all of it designed to break these unfounded ideas down to nothing and start again by instilling the kind of confidence in English learners that persuades them that they can be just as good at English as anyone else.

What do you think?

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Anglicism of the week - 'corneriser'

A pretty little corner sitting in a corner and minding its own business, bless its little cotton socks...
G'day y'all, Happy New Year and I hope your hangovers aren't too bad.

Here's the second instalment of some of the many Anglicisms in French I come across, but my 'fave-hate' one of the last few weeks is the dreadful 'corner'/'corneriser'. More of that in a moment, but first, here are some others I've seen recently.

Talking of drinking and hangovers, I imagine that many French people visited an 'open-bar' last night where drinks were free, or maybe they got invited to a 'Big Bang', in other words a super party. Indeed. Still, it's back to work soon for everyone, but they can still go for an apéritif after work, or an 'after work' as it is called by the young, chic and trendy of the land of Voltaire, who must be thrashing around in his grave right now at the sight of all these Anglicisms..

I have noticed over time that there are a lot of car-related Anglicisms. People have been customising cars and motor bikes since the beginning of time they were invented, and French motor enthusiasts are no different. Except that their verb for 'customise' when applied to cars and bikes is 'tuner' and the finished result is called a 'tuning.' I presume they've picked this word because we talk of tuning an engine, but they apply it to body and paintwork, accessories and other aspects of car care. They also talk about getting their cars 'checké', as in looked at by a garagist and their word for 'airbag' is, well, 'airbag'. Two of these terms have perfectly apt French equivalents, although the use of 'airbag' is arguably understandable in a way seeing as the French equivalent is the rather unwieldy 'coussin gonflable de sécurité'.

Meanwhile I read earlier today in a French paper that there's what the paper calls a 'Think Tank' in Brussels which thinks the world is going down the plughole faster than a French train driver goes on strike. It's not the only thing that's going to go down the plughole if Anglicisms like this keep cropping up in the French language. What's wrong with the highly descriptive 'groupe de réflexion' or 'panel d'experts'?

Feel like having a rant about some news story or other? You are free to do so on another paper, L'Express. Just click on the red button with 'Express Yourself' on it. Ugh. A hideously bad play on words that.

A few others I've seen fairly often are 'prime time' TV (heure de grande écoute), 'after-shave' (après rasage), a 'gag' (blague) and a 'has-been' (Bob Dylan someone who is no longer a success with the public). Where's the Académie Française?!

Right, onto what is becoming a very 'in' (a French word meaning 'in') word/verb - 'corner/corneriser or, with an accent as in 'cornériser'.

Google tells me that the word corner finds its origins in a 13th century Anglo-French word - 'cornere' - which itself derives from the old French ''cornière' which comes from the Vulgar Latin 'corna' , which means 'projecting point/end/horn.' So now you know.

But it has come back with a bang in its modern English form. I first saw 'corner' in French football match reports. It refers to a corner kick. Now however it has become a very popular verb/noun in French political circles. Consider these examples;

A far left politician recently accused Jean-Luc 'I Hate Everyone' Mélenchon of having 'cornerisé' the French left, i.e. marginalised it.

Another French politician who has been marginalised (thank god incidentally) is the dreadful Ségolène Royal. Senior Socialists now think that she has been 'cornerisé' down in Poitou-Charentes, the region of which she is president. May she remain there until my local boys' club wins the Champions League I say, but that's by the by...

Politicians also like to corneriser other politicians they don't like, which is why one paper headlined an article with 'When Alain Juppé 'cornerise' Valérie Hoffenberg'. Poor thing. Another victim was the hapless Cécile Duflot, who, I read, has also been 'cornerisé'.


Not all politicians want to cornerise others though, and that was the peace-seeking attitude which Xavier Bertrand adopted during the recent Copé/Fillon spat, when he expressed the opinion that nobody should be put in a 'corner', thus using corner as a noun.

The reason I find this Anglicism to be so bad is that there are many perfectly adequate words to describe all of the notions which 'corner' may express. They include 'isoler', 'neutraliser', 'mettre à l'écart', 'marginaliser' and a whole stack of others. Also, if one accepts that part of a politician's job is to set a good example to others, contributing to the assassination of their own language by refusing to use it correctly hardly seems to be the best way of going about it.

Then again, since when did anyone believe that politicians set a good example to anyone? And it it is upon that note that I shall end this entry. Toodle pip!

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(p.s. You can read the first instalment of Anglicisms here. Enjoy.)

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

The French are still the worst students in the English class

Yes yes, I know, my French is better than my photographic skills
That is the sober conclusion of a recent study carried out in 54 countries by EF Education First, an international  company which specialises in language training and related activities. The study, details of which were reported by Le Figaro, comes hard on the heels of similar results published by by the OECD and administrators of the TOEFL test. Yes, mes amis français, vous êtes mauvais, voire très mauvais, en anglais.

Unsurprisingly, Scandinavian countries top the list but France is one of the also-rans, including on a European scale where it is in a disastrous 23rd place. Worse, although the French language shares both Latin and Greek influences with English, countries like South Korea, Pakistan and Japan obtained better results.

Parisians are the best English speakers in France, and those from Lower Normandy the worst, that which puts them on about the same level as Peru.

The study notes that the French "do not seem to have integrated the importance of being able to speak English in a world which is becoming ever more globalised" and adds that these poor results "represent an obstacle for adults in terms of access to European and International markets" and that "the strong disinclination of the French to learning English is leading France to a classification in language levels which is lower than most of its neighbours. This mistrust in English may well threaten the economic performance of France in this difficult period."

The French education system is said to be largely responsible for this alarming situation and that "they put an emphasis on grammar and literature at the expense of the ability to communicate [...] The French are proud of the historic role that their language and culture have played around the world. France sees English as a form of individualism similar to capitalism in the United States and, to a lesser extent, in the United Kingdom. The English language is seen as being suspect because of this association."

It is very hard not to agree with these findings and my own experiences bear them out. I have even seen teachers refuse to teach English to younger children if they have the choice between teaching it and other languages because they are 'sick of being invaded by English and Anglosaxon culture.' The French education system is outdated and ineffective, as I wrote here, and the manner in which English is taught is unbelievably bad. The French language is taught as if only grammar and literature were important and students are not encouraged to create or to learn effective oral communication skills. This disastrous approach has been adopted vis-à-vis English and it is clearly not working.

But all is not yet lost. Britain and its culture are becoming increasingly popular among young French people and they seem to speak better English than was the case even ten years ago. Some French cable TV stations are beginning to broadcast English-language films in English with French subtitles and sales of books in English are slowly rising.

If I were to write a school report on France's English studies it would read something like "France must make more effort. An intelligent country, it is capable of much better results than this. More concentration and application will be necessary if France is to be successful later on in life."

Marks - 3/10 and must write 500 lines of 'I must improve my level in English.'

Class dismissed, you may leave.
 

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

French Language vs English Anglicisms

I see this abomination several times a week, merde!
The French language has always been held in very high esteem in France, and quite rightly so. It's an elegant and highly expressive language and it sounds like music to these English ears. French is considered to be part of the country's heritage and it has a fierce watchdog to protect it. It's name? L'Académie Française.

The Academy decides which words, spellings, grammatical structures and other elements of the language may or may not be used and how, although it is difficult to keep up with all of its rulings as there are so many of them.

Another of the Academy's responsibilities is that of keeping foreign words from 'polluting' French, which it considers to be a 'pure' language, and I have an image of the French language, at least as the Academy sees it, as being besieged by would-be foreign invaders, which is why it is surrounded by virtual barbed-wire fences, booby traps and hundreds of hidden French-protecting nests of heavy machine guns which fire bullets charged not with explosives but with French grammar and spelling edicts and diktats.

Words from many countries have entered the language over the years, and some of them have been officially endorsed, but two of the biggest threats to French today are the use of texting language, which purists see as a threat to the correct use of French, and the massive infiltration of Anglicisms, which is becoming a major menace to its beauty.

Anglicisms have existed in French for many years of course, with words like 'weekend' and 'parking' (car park) being universally employed with little or no opposition, and the use of English is common practice in this globalised business world, but the last 15-20 years have seen a veritable tidal wave of Anglicisms flood over French shores from Britain and America, and into everyday French.

Some of them are relatively innocuous, although I realise that deciding which Anglicisms are acceptable or not is a subjective process. The French, like Anglophones, use 'un must' to designate something that is a must-do/see/read etc, computer terms such as scanner and mail/email are common and French TV has 'prime time' viewing hours. Another one which sits easily with me is the term 'gore' to describe gory photos.

But who could possibly find the slightest shred of elegance in the answer given earlier this year by potential French presidential candidate Martine Aubry to a journalist who asked about her capacity to be a good president? "Je serai capable de faire le job" she blurted clumsily, and it was at that precise moment that I and many others decided that she most decidedly wouldn't. Nobody needs a prez who can't speak French correctly.

You would most surely find that phrase if you googled it, and on the subject of Google, one paper once referred to the Internet giant as "une gigantesque cash machine." The paper was right in its analysis of course, but its use of French was very wrong indeed. What's wrong with the perfectly apt French equivalent - 'machine à sous'?

France has a deserved-or-not reputation of being a country which goes on perpetual strike, so how is it that they haven't yet developed their own strike vocabulary? One report I read reported  a strike and and its "250 salariés lockoutés" whereas another paper quoted a factory manager as saying that there would be no discussion with his striking staff until they called off the strike "..et le sit-in."

Not that members of the French national football team cared, because sporting paper L'Equipe informed us that they had been given a "day off." Oh, so no 'journée de repos' then. Another profession which gets lots of days off is teaching. Teachers in France sometimes feel hard done by, and they once criticised a set of reform proposals by declaring that teachers were "..la génération crash-test."

Maybe you were hoping that international news about serious issues may be spared, but if you were, you were unfortunately mistaken. The damage done by the devastating 2004 tsunami, we were informed at the time, meant that "..le Tohoku risque de devenir un no man's land." Meanwhile, diplomats and NGO's concerned with the Ivory Coast troubles were desperately trying to create "..corridors humanitaires" to help people caught up in the fighting. Bernard Kouchner was also busy being a "go-between" in another conflict.

I hear and read Anglicisms every day, and most of them are downright ugly. Here are a few examples, overheard in cafés and bars. A lady who had trouble at work decided that she would "faire du low profile", two men on a terrace were joined by a third who announced that he had had a "power breakfast" at work that morning, and what of the teenage girl who told a friend that she was fed up with a friend who was forever going on about "her life." Yes, you guessed right, it means the perfectly fitting French word for word equivalent of 'sa vie.'

Flea market, le rush, être busy, trôp de work, faire du shopping, faire un brushing, make-up, porter des baskets, des jeans' (yup, with an apostrophe), bad, the ever-present cool, un life-saver, the list is long and it's getting longer every day.

The Academy is quite rightly outraged at the excessive use of Anglicisms, not only because the French language contains perfectly adequate equivalents in the vast majority of cases, but also because their use is ruining the sonority of the language.

That said, some of the more vociferous opponents of Anglicisms are quite wrong to blame the phenomenon on Anglophones. After all, nobody is holding a gun to French heads to insist that they use Anglicisms. On the contrary, almost all Anglophones I know who have connections with France and its language are just as unhappy with the situation as are the French themselves.

I blame fashion. Anglicisms are seen as hip and cool here, as is Anglo-Saxon culture as a whole (see this blog), and they are to be found in TV ads and on ad hoardings everywhere because marketing specialists know that they sell product, particularly to people under 40. T-shirts are full of English would-be witticisms ("I'm available, are you?") and fashion magazines are jam-packed with them. They are everywhere to be seen, even on municipal buildings, like the one here in Lyon in the photo above.

Perhaps the most important question concerns whether or not the tide can be turned. It unfortunately seems that the globalised world has had a major impact on the French language and that is to be regretted, but, at the end of the day, the only people who can do anything about the situation are...the French themselves.

Anglicisms are the gauntlet that English has thrown down, but if the French language is to survive as the beautiful language it has always been, France, the French and their language have no choice but to pick it up.

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Do you know your Tu from your Vous? Here’s a guide

You? Or you?
All native English-speakers who also speak reasonably good French and live in France have had to learn the subtle art of ‘tutoiement’ and ‘vouvoiement’ to some extent in order to function socially and professionally.  The only problem with learning it however is that there is no direct equivalent in modern English to compare it to and there is no definitive ‘user manual’ for it either. You’re more or less on your own because there’s a fair amount of subjectivity involved.

This lack of formal rules means that it might be best to explain things in terms of how the French use it in their lives, and what follows is a guide to some of the practices and attitudes you should know about, as well as some of the pitfalls to avoid. Firstly though, what is this phenomenon and how is it defined?

Called the ‘T-V distinction’ in sociolinguistics, it is the contrast in some languages, such as French, between the singular and plural second-person pronouns. This contrast doesn’t exist in English – where ‘you’ is used in both cases - but in French ‘tu’ is the singular and ‘vous’ is the plural. This difference means that depending on who they are used to address and in which circumstances, they can convey respect, courtesy, keeping one’s distance, politeness, familiarity, or insult. That’s why you have to be careful which one you use. (A historical note: there used to be an equivalent in older versions of English – ‘thou/thee’ for the singular and ‘you’ for the plural.)

‘Tu (toi, te)’ is the second person familiar pronoun in French, and ‘vous’ is the second person plural familiar pronoun, but ‘vous’ is also used as the more respectful form of the second person singular, thus replacing ‘tu’, and that’s where things start to get difficult. Which to use?

There is one custom that all of French society agrees on, so let’s begin with that. ‘Vous’ is what you use to address any stranger respectfully and politely in public, whatever their social status or background. That means everyone from shop assistants to waiters to bank staff and local government workers, and it also means literally anybody in the street, for example the person you ask for directions or the person you are apologising to for accidentally bumping into them while boarding a bus. There are no exceptions, and the use of ‘tu’ in these circumstances is considered to be extremely impolite.

That was the easy bit, but there are also many instances when either one or the other is usually used, and this is where things can become more delicate.

Friends and family almost always use the familiar ‘tu’ to each other and many work colleagues do likewise, whatever their position in the company. This is often the case in small companies and places like bars, restaurants and shops, although in some other companies colleagues at the same hierarchical level use ‘tu’ with each other but when it comes to senior management it’s a mutual ‘vous.’ It is rare these days for everyone to vouvoyer at work. When meeting people for the first time outside of a social setting, it is best to use ‘vous’ at first, even though the circumstances in which you meet may be relaxed, such as in a restaurant, where you strike up a conversation with people on the adjoining table. Note also that some older people still use ‘vous’ between themselves even though they are friends as that’s how things were many years ago.

That said, if you are introduced to the friend of a friend and in an informal setting, ‘tu’ is generally used automatically from the start. Children and teenagers universally use ‘tu’ to address each other. Younger people tutoie more and more easily and so do people such as artists and musicians, and in places such as clubs and associations.

Next, there are very few cases indeed in which one person would use ‘vous’ and the other would use ‘tu.’ It’s almost always a case of both people using one or the other, but there are a few exceptions. Schoolchildren in many schools have to use ‘vous’ when speaking to teachers whereas teachers may use ‘tu’ to them. A person who is much older than their interlocutor may ‘tutoyer’ whereas the younger one uses ‘vous.’ I am 58 and although I would not allow anyone to tutoie me without at least a tacit agreement – in which case we both use ‘tu’ - I do make an exception for people in, say, their 80’s, as long as they are talking to me in an agreeable manner. After all – and contrary to some sections of popular opinion – even the old have to earn respect.

Concerning children, they used to have to use ‘vous’ from the start to everyone, but these days they use the familiar ’tu’ to address all adults until they are old enough to know why a choice has to be made. There are no hard and fast rules here but I would remind any child of over 10 years old who I don’t know that he or she is being impolite by using ‘tu’ to me. Adults tend to tutoie children even older than 10 and expect to be answered with ‘vous’, although it would be impolite to use ‘tu’ when they get to say, 15, unless you know them.

Having met people and used ‘vous’ with them for a while, the next and very important question is ‘when do you both decide that you get on well enough or are on familiar enough terms that ‘vous’ is beginning to seem too formal and that ‘tu’ would be better?’ The rule here unfortunately is that there is no rule, and how they are used is considered to be a reflection of how polite people are and how well they relate to people.

I am someone who prefers to use ‘tu’ as soon as possible in as many circumstances as possible, and that’s only natural given that I like to be on informal terms with people. Other people on the other hand prefer to keep their distance a little by using ‘vous.’ If someone asks you if you may both use ‘tu’, say yes if possible (it’s a sign of wanting to be friends) but only if you want that to happen. You may also decide to initiate the change, but try and be sure that you are not asking prematurely and that the other person would agree before doing so because a refusal can be embarrassing.

However, if for example you are a young woman who works in an office where they normally use ‘vous’ and a manager you think is trying to be overly-familiar with you for all the wrong reasons wants to use ‘tu’ in order to become more bold in his amourous actions, refuse. Refuse politely, but refuse. And he must respect your decision.

A few must-nevers-but-weres and other pitfalls I have seen people fall into? There’s the young man I recall who used ‘tu’ to his girlfriend’s mother the first time he met her. Talk about giving a bad impression. Then there was the arrogant client who used ‘tu’ to a restaurant waiter as was routinely the case 100 years ago only for the waiter to tutoie him in return. The client complained, but the manager, to his credit, defended the waiter. And pity the poor young man who used ‘tu’ during a job interview. I know the interviewer and, needless to say, he did not hire the person concerned. At the opposite end of the scale, I know a lady who uses ‘vous’ to all her work colleagues in a company that uses ‘tu.’ She is reviled as a snob. Finally, one of my many errors when I was learning ‘tu’ and ‘vous’ was to tutoie a lady of over 70, thinking that her tutoiement of me was meant as a sign that she wanted to be informal. She did, but she still wanted to retain the old ‘tu’-‘vous’ tandem and I was put squarely back in my place. Very embarrassing.

It’s impossible to list all the scenarios, and people have different attitudes towards ‘tu’ and ‘vous’, which is why if my English-speaking French friends were to read this, some would agree with my descriptions whereas others wouldn’t. And the same goes for French-speaking English natives.

But nevertheless, don’t forget that although people will pardon your errors if your French is not that brilliant, from the moment you speak good French, you are supposed to be able to have the ability to sense when to use ‘tu’ and when to use ‘vous.’ Use them in a negligent manner and you could end up with the reputation of being vaguely uncouth, or worse, and used wisely, they are a means of demonstrating that you understand French people, their culture and their customs, and that you have good social skills.