The Monaco-France football tax spat mirrors France's dilemma for the future

Monaco football club stadium

Sport often mirrors society in general and it is doing so again in the form of AS Monaco football club's tax spat with French football authorities. The club, which has been playing in the French league for almost 100 years, is taking legal action against them in the French State Council because of a long-running battle over the principality's status as a tax haven, which allows them to attract world-class players and management with the offer of tax-free salaries. The decision to do so was taken after other French league clubs threatened to block the club's entry to the country's Premier League next year, and the French Football Association made matters worse by suggesting that Monaco pay €200 million in tax and move their headquarters to France to be able to continue playing in France. That was the straw that broke the camel's back as far as Monaco were concerned.

Monaco says that these moves breach European law and that they break a 50-year-old tax convention between France and Monaco, and the French say that the current status quo gives Monaco an unfair advantage.

There are grounds for these French fears of course. The French government under François Hollande has slapped substantial taxes on club profits and players' salaries, and this is sure to lead to an exodus of some of the league's better players to more generous clubs in countries such as Britain, Spain, Germany and Italy. Monaco does not have these problems however, because the club is now overseen by Dmitry Rybolovlev, a Russian billionaire who has big spending ambitions and has recently shown an interest in a long list of top players and managers in other countries.

The result of this is that AS Monaco is one of just two clubs in France with major buying power and big European ambitions, the other being Qatari-backed Paris Saint-Germain, the club which managed to lure David Beckham to finish his career with them. PSG unsurprisingly won the French championship with the help of several major signings, and the fear of all the other cash-strapped clubs is that French football shall be no more than a two-horse race next season.

That's how things stand, so be it, but all this begs a much wider question, that of how Hollande and his government can possibly reconcile their current economic policies with success in a country where 'business' and 'money' are dirty words. France has taxed business and the rich very hard since Hollande came to power, there have been threats to nationalise companies, and many prominent (and rich) personalities have left the country for tax reasons. The same goes for some companies and for senior highly-paid personnel, who have been relocated abroad. The result is that foreign investors are wary and that business confidence is at an all-time low.

The France-Monaco row has shone a harsh and analogous spotlight of reality on some crucial choices facing France. If French industry and foreign businesses in France are to invest in order to grow and succeed in international markets they need to be given the chance to do so instead of being trussed up in a fiscal straightjacket, and the same goes for its football clubs, which are of a lower standard than their European counterparts. If they are to be successful and attract investment and the public they too need more help, not hindrance.

This episode shows that if France and its people, like its football clubs, want to remain competitive and be successful, the country will have to change its way of doing things. The alternative, of course, is to accept the country's decline.

Ultimately, France and French football will be forced to choose, because the country can't continue to have its cake and eat it. Either France wants to succeed in a world which is much bigger than it is and which imposes its rules, or it doesn't.

In which case it shall be obliged to resign itself to ever-increasing mediocrity both on, and off, the football pitch.

Garlic-Eating Frogs vs Beer-Swilling Teutonics - live match report

A man with, euhhh, two balls. As they say.

France plays host to Germany this evening for a friendly international football match so seeing as I'll be watching it and all the papers are doing a live rolling report on it I thought I'd do the same, except that mine will be a parody. A spoof. As unserious and irreverent as it gets. Why? Just for the fun of it and in the hope that someone may find something amusing to read in it. I'll be updating it every 5 minutes or so. Enjoy!
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Preamble
This is the bit before the match kicks off where football commentators usually tell readers who they think will win, and why, and why the match is so "vitally important". But seeing as I have no idea who will win, or why, and because I couldn't care less anyway, I'll just skip this chore if nobody minds.

Team News
France - Lloris - Sagna, Koscielny, Sakho, Evra - Cabaye, Matuidi - Sissoko, Valbuena, Ribéry – Benzema.
Germany - Adler - Howedes, Hummels, Mertesacker, Lahm - Gundogan, Khedira - Müller, Özil, Podolski - Gomez.

Well, all I can say about that is that they have 11 players each it would appear, so no there's no cheating, at least just yet. The cheating part comes when the match starts.

The teams are about come out onto the pitch!!
Football commentators often say this so I'll say it too, although I personally think that Hitchcock was a better master of keeping up expectative suspense and rising tension.

Peeeep! And we're off!

2 mins. I see 22 people running round a field after a sort of ball-thingy. The French are dressed in their familiar blue shirts, and the Germans are in their usual in white. If this was a fashion show the Germans would win 10-0. Blue is sooooo passé dahlink...

4mins and nothing much is happening. So little in fact, that I have enough time to notice a man in a rather spiffing and fetching yellow shirt on the field. It appears that he is what is called the 'referee'. Whatever floats his boat. I happen not to be gay though so I'll leave him to the ladies.


12 mins. It's still 0-0 and I'm wondering if there's any such thing as 'catatonic boredom'. Oh sod this, I'm off to watch a Youtube video. Their singer died recently. They were a great band and those were the days. Back in a few.

18 mins. 0-0. No, football is a really exciting game. Really it is. Believe me. *sigh* :(

24 mins. French striker Benzema carves the German attack apart with more ruthless efficiency than a butcher's knife slicing through milk. It would have been easier to score but he decided to make things difficult for himself by shooting straight at the goalkeeper.

29 mins. The match has suddenly come to life, like the Zombies in the film. End-to-end stuff it is and it's quite attractive to watch. Either side could have scored in the last 5 minutes. A goal soon please!!!

35 mins. Ribery is all over the place, like white on rice. And he's dangerous too. If he doesn't score tonight I'll sell my grandmother be very surprised.

40 mins, and the French have the upper hand. They seem in a hurry to score before half-time. But the Germans are displaying their usual discipline and are managing to cope in the hope of holding out.

44 mins and France 1 Germany 0! This was inevitable and it was thnks to Valbuena, who has worked hard since the kick-off. More power to him.

46 mins. Half-Time.

Half-time entertainment

France arguably deserves to be a goal up, although I'm sure that the Germans will come out all guns blazing in the second half. But that won't work unless they manage to capitalise on their patient attacking build-ups by creating more chances. Oh, and talking about advertisements, anyone for a beer?

45 mins. Off we go again and the French get a corner within 20 seconds. As usual, it leads to nothing. In fact despite the fact that they are supposed to be an advantage to the attacking side corner kicks result in so few goals that I'm thinking of campaigning for their abolition. Yours, Angry From Suburbia.

51 mins et oh la la! France 1 Germany 1! A terrible pass from Capoue is intercepted and relayed to Muller, who duly slams it into the net and sends chocolates and thank you tweets to the French defence to thank them for their generosity.

60 mins. This match is up for grabs and I'd rather take a cold shower than bet on the result.

65 mins. Valbuena, then Ribery, the French seem to be taking it in turns to put shots just wide of the posts. They've been bribed by the Albanian mafia to lose the match I tell thee!

74 mins France 1 Germany 2. What a sumptous sliderule pass from Odil to Khedira! It was the kind of pass that's so clever that it solves complex crosswords in a millisecond. Khedira responded in kind with cool nerve and a fine finish.

80 mins. Just 10 minutes to go and the French introduce an attacking substitute in an attempt to create an equaliser. It's followed by another, similar, substitution. Desperate times indeed, but hope springs eternal as they say.

85 mins, and the Germans are holding on to the ball. If the French are going to score they'll have to regain posession, and that's easier said than done against a team which knows how to pull down the shutters and kill the game.

89 mins and France equalises! 2-2 with one minute to go!! Nah, only joking. Giroud was offside and the goal is disallowed. Merde alors! There'll be three minutes of added time.

93 mins. Peeeeep, and it's all over. France 1 Germany 2 and all this goes to prove that drinking beer is better for footballers than eating garlic. Or something. Thanks for reading and have a good evening..