|Keith Richards' favourite tipple|
Still, I decided to have a small nip earlier this evening, and it was then that I discovered and read the enclosed leaflet. I nearly dropped dead on the spot. Here are a few excerpts from this scurrilous propaganda.
'Slow Drinking - the art of savouring.'WHAT??!! JD is a drink for rock musicians (I was one for years), alcoholics-or-nearly (I almost became one), rebels (always been one), motorbikers (never ridden one), and various other categories of us, the marginals who make this otherwise sad world go round, and I want it to stay that way!!
'Slow Drinking is a new way of tasting alcoholic drinks in which one takes one's time to savour each instant. The Slow Drinking philosophy valorises the visual, olfactive and gustatory senses and offers new rituals and modes of tasting in order to better savour the moment whilst also drinking moderately.'
'When I don't have a doser, I use the bottle cap and that makes sure I limit my consumption.'
This 'Slow Drinking' gimmick may be okay for soft drink drinkers of girly drinks like Martini and Bacardi - the campaign is the initiative of Martini-Bacardi France - but it has no place in a presentation box of Jack Daniel's. Worse, the French distinguish themselves once again as the world's most incompetent English users by mistakenly labelling Jack Daniel's as 'Jack Daniel'. How would they like it if Anglophones labelled champagne as 'shampain'? Roquefort as 'Rock Fort'?
Good lord, this civilised 'culturalisation' of JD is an absolute abomination. JD drinkers don't need to 'taste', or 'savour', or - worst of all - 'dose' JD. We need to drink it, lots of it, and without moderation. That's what it was invented for.
But now that the French have started drinking it they are setting a bad precedent for the future.
I swear that if ever they succeed in making people put ice in JD I'll stop drinking it.
After all, it's a strong drink, for rebels like me. So I'll have to find something even stronger if they make it socially acceptable.
Hmmm, now where's the number of the guy I know who makes Moonshine.....
(All that said, at almost 60 years old now I stopped at one drink.)
Excellent weekend to all...