Saturday, 22 June 2013

J'ACCUSE! France's 'Slow Drinking' advice to Jack Daniel's drinkers :)

Keith Richards' favourite tipple
I bought a bottle of Jack Daniel's yesterday evening. Hard alcohol is rarely to be found at my home but I only bought that bottle because I liked the presentation box to be honest. I took it home and promptly forgot about it.

Still, I decided to have a small nip earlier this evening, and it was then that I discovered and read the enclosed leaflet. I nearly dropped dead on the spot. Here are a few excerpts from this scurrilous propaganda.
'Slow Drinking - the art of savouring.'

'Slow Drinking is a new way of tasting alcoholic drinks in which one takes one's time to savour each instant. The Slow Drinking philosophy valorises the visual, olfactive and gustatory senses and offers new rituals and modes of tasting in order to better savour the moment whilst also drinking moderately.'

'When I don't have a doser, I use the bottle cap and that makes sure I limit my consumption.'
WHAT??!! JD is a drink for rock musicians (I was one for years), alcoholics-or-nearly (I almost became one), rebels (always been one), motorbikers (never ridden one), and various other categories of us, the marginals who make this otherwise sad world go round, and I want it to stay that way!!

This 'Slow Drinking' gimmick may be okay for soft drink drinkers of girly drinks like Martini and Bacardi - the campaign is the initiative of Martini-Bacardi France - but it has no place in a presentation box of Jack Daniel's. Worse, the French distinguish themselves once again as the world's most incompetent English users by mistakenly labelling Jack Daniel's as 'Jack Daniel'. How would they like it if Anglophones labelled champagne as 'shampain'? Roquefort as 'Rock Fort'?

Good lord, this civilised 'culturalisation' of JD is an absolute abomination. JD drinkers don't need to 'taste', or 'savour', or - worst of all - 'dose' JD. We need to drink it, lots of it, and without moderation. That's what it was invented for.

But now that the French have started drinking it they are setting a bad precedent for the future.

I swear that if ever they succeed in making people put ice in JD I'll stop drinking it.

After all, it's a strong drink, for rebels like me. So I'll have to find something even stronger if they make it socially acceptable.

Hmmm, now where's the number of the guy I know who makes Moonshine.....

(All that said, at almost 60 years old now I stopped at one drink.)

Excellent weekend to all...


  1. When it comes to JD, wouldn't "Slow Drinking" make it worse than it already is ? Valorising the "visual, olfactive and gustatory senses" while drinking this monstrosity is more than my heart could take. You don't savour JD, you gulp it down and hope it stays there.

    1. Now that's what I call an honest point of view! well said that man... :)

    2. I remember reading a book about whisky and I think JD is a sour mash, sometimes called a "sippin' whisky" to which the author added, "presumably because only a fool would risk taking a whole mouthful".

  2. Oh FFS. Just drink and enjoy.

    Over in Normandy we enjoy a café calva and drink fast or slowly. To hell with your foreign rubbish.

    PS pls can you simplify your method of authorising comments otherwise this is the last time I will bother. Sorry but I had to flip three times tonight to find a simple word authorisation.

    1. Oh ffs, I was only having a bit of fun. :)

      Café-Calva? Love it. Plural.

      Hey Elegance, I don't understand what you mean about my comment authorising. It's set to 'accept all comments without premod' or whatever the phrase is. All comments appear automatically, or at least that's my intention. What does 'flip' mean?

      Confused, and have an excellent evening...

    2. you'll be missed

    3. I agree with elegancemaison, it's not always easy to put a comment on your blog dear Frip. Surtout lorque l'on n'est pas un cador en informatique!
      Pour ma part, j'ai renoncé most of the time.
      About JD: one or two glasses, yes! but with ice of course!
      Please, don't hit me, I'm a woman!

    4. Pfft. I wouldn't hit you. After all, you wear glasses. But if not... ;)

      Toi aussi tu parles des 'captchas' qu'il faut faire avant de commenter ?

  3. I have visited the Jack Daniel's Distillery in Lynchburg, Tennessee – it’s very interesting. I bought a cookbook showing that you can use Jack Daniel's in almost anything. I started drinking it when we moved to Georgia – but I don’t drink it that often. I use it when I make my Bourbon Balls at Christmas – you almost pass out when you open the box – the smell is so strong – most of the guys at work used to make a line to my desk to get some! I like Bourbon a lot more than regular whiskey. When we drive to Nashville to our daughter and I see the sign to the distillery I always think about going back but, well, I buy cheaper Bourbon in Kentucky.

    1. Fascinating. I'd love to go there! Wanna work with me? :)

      I hope you're in fine fettle over there in the Bluegrass State....

  4. Seems to me that there's way too much emasculation of just about anything rough tough and hard these days. Effing Nanny State.

    Btw, there's that word captcha when one posts a comment. That's what 'elegance' means.

    1. 'Effing Nanny State'.

      Right on the button. We live in a Policically Correct Paradise.

      Except that it isn't. It's just peurile and irrelevant spillover slop from the gender debate.